Ch-ch-ch-changes...

...And I'm not afraid to dress like Ziggy Stardust to make it happen.

Big changes are in store for the Haganational, and they are designed to give you, my six loyal readers, a better reading experience. Several things are being discussed, but you can count on a better platform for reading and writing blogs, so this will mean goodbye to google’s blogspot, and a new domain name. You can also expect more content, some graphical interplay, and contributions from readers as well as new and exciting writers. It’s too presumptive to say the Haganational is going big time, but we are being called up from rookie ball.

Did I, Matt Hagan, the sultan of surliness, have the vision to make these changes? Of course not, I am an idiot. That’s why I’m pleased to announce Jason Tabeling as the first president and publisher of the Haganational. I’m sticking around as the senior writer and editor-and-chief. You can still expect my almost unique brand of muddied metaphors, slimy similes, gross grammar, sad spelling, and abhorrent alliteration…. Wait a minute, wait a minute- Mr. Tabeling is telling me that our new platform will have something resembling a word processor- Tabes, we’ll have to consult on this, I think the people regarded at my butchering of the language as quaint… Whatever Mr. IT, I pity the fool who think some fancy new processor is gonna challenge my propensity to reach for the most improbable of analogies…

OK, it’s clear we have a few things to work out, but if all goes according to plan, this could be one of the last Haganational’s on google’s blogspot. I’ll post one more, at least, with directions about how to follow us to our new home (pleaaassssseeee).

The impetus behind these changes is Mr. Tabeling, a Lakewood High School and Ohio University graduate. In his spare time he enjoys golf, softball, and drinking draft beers. No, this isn’t my bipolar alter-ego or an imaginary friend. He is also a devoted family man, tech-savvy, and generally more conservative than me (not hard to do, rest assured he is certainly not Joe Wilson). But most importantly, his area of professional expertise is under the hood of the internet machine, and from what I hear (from him), he's a pretty good mechanic.

Also, Mr. Tabeling did not know how to spell the word “surprise” until he was 21. He is the starting shortstop on our five-time Lakewood Softball Championship squad (I am his understudy- and since shortstop is my favorite position- I love when he misses games) but has never backhanded a ground ball. When I play second base, our double play combination has a name in the vain of Tinkers to Evers to Chance, and that name is “oops-pow-suprise” (see first sentence of this paragraph). He is bald (he may own the new domain, but let’s test his editorial prowess).

His wife, Sarah Ellis Tabeling, has been a friend and classmate of mine since elementary school. While we were in fifth grade, our teacher, Mrs. Vahue, called us to the front of the room to tell us we were “enriched” or “really smart” or something like that. Anyway, we weren’t put into the gifted class, that’s all I know, we were simply placed into the kinda smart group of two. I didn’t understand why I was in this pedagogy purgatory, until we were given a quick oral test designed to elicit rapid responses. Sarah and I were on fire in this back and forth, as we took turns nailing the questions, “photosynthesis,” “Thomas Jefferson,” “e-n-c-y-c-l-o-p-e-d-i-a,” and then Mrs. Vahue threw me a softball, asking what 400 divided by 200 equaled. “Two-hundred!” I proclaimed exuberantly. OK, I now understand why I didn’t get the call up to the gifted class. Still not sure why Sarah didn’t though, she was always pretty smart.

The Tabelings have a one-year old daughter, Allison Rose, and she is very cute and makes expressive faces. If all goes according to the plans of the Haganational’s oops-pow-suprise managerial team, she’ll be contributing articles to the only URL U’ll Really Love, the new Haganational, in about fifteen years.